You know you’ve been in Thailand too long when…
At the risk of offending anyone, I’ve compiled a list of “Signs you’ve been in Thailand too long” (“too long” is a bit pessimistic, but I didn’t know how else to say it). I guess it applies mostly to farang. It is a work in progress, so readers should add their own and point out what’s missing!
Here are some of them. For the complete ‘list,’ follow the jump…
You can go for weeks without toilet paper.
It’s perfectly acceptable to drive down the wrong side of the street
You no longer wonder how a civil servant who earns 400 USD per month drives a Mercedes.
Curry is perfectly acceptable breakfast food as long as it has an egg on top.
You decline to wear a motorbike helmet because it’ll mess up your hair
You can rely on the fact that any given night of the week, somewhere there is a model getting free drinks.
YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN IN THAILAND TOO LONG WHEN:
1. You can go for weeks without toilet paper.
2. It’s perfectly acceptable to drive down the wrong side of the street
3. You decline to wear a motorbike helmet because it’ll mess up your hair.
4. Half your wardrobe is the colour yellow.
5. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
6. Hearing “Mai Mii” or “Mai Dai” for the 300th time in a day and doesn’t bother you.
7. You no longer wonder how a civil servant who earns 400 USD per month drives a Mercedes.
8. Curry is perfectly acceptable breakfast food as long as it has an egg on top.
9. Au Bon Pain is a chic hang out serving good food.
10. You can rely on the fact that any given night of the week, somewhere there is a model getting free drinks.
11. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
12. You have a pinky fingernail an inch long
13. It’s exciting to see if you can get in the elevator before anyone can get off.
14. You’d rather SMS someone than actually meet and talk
15. You are careful to cover your mouth when picking your teeth, but openly pick your nose at the dinner table.
16. You keep a roll of toilet paper on your dinner table, but not in the bathroom.
17. A t-bone steak with rice sounds just fine.
18. “Love You Long Time” is not a satirical quote from Full Metal Jacket, but an actual saying.
19. You know when people say they’re “going to bed” that they’ll actually be partying until 2AM in a cylindrical nightclub resembling a spaceship.
20. “Sexpats,” “Pirates,” “Yellow Fever” and “Rice Queens” are all in your vocabulary.
21. You can shame a group of whores in Patpong with one angry stare
22. You regard My Name Lon – You Like Me? and Colonel Ken’s Tales of Misadventure in Asia as classics in the category “Asian Literature,” shamelessly promoted at airports everywhere.
23. It’s just part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
24. When shopping at the supermarket, a farang stares you down when he catches you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what farangs eat.
25. You regularly fumble for five minutes to find a 10 baht coin despite 10 people waiting in line behind you
26. You realize half of your personality is complaining.