Thai Politics for Dummies…by Dummies
You don’t need to know a single thing about the cast of characters involved to get a sense of the level of intellectual discourse in which our national leaders are engaged. Here’s my armchair synopsis:
Thaksin Shinawatra (Thailand Prime Minister and head of the TRT party): My party rocks! Piss me off and I will either cut off funding to your religiously insignificant and laughably marginalized province/grossly ignored and underpriviledged ethnic group/lucrative under-the-table pork barrel overpriced infrastructure project, or have you killed.
Sanoh Thienthong (senior TRT party advisor/godfather): My faction kissed major ass to help you win the election and we are ticked that you didn’t give us enough candy (and high profile cabinet posts yielding lucrative under-the-table pork barrel overpriced infrastructure projects)!
Thaksin’s sister: Step back, foo’! You just be an old fart wit no street cred!
Sanoh: You’re just a kindergarten kid! [He actually did say this]
Thaksin: Whatever, old man.
Sanoh: Oh yeah? Well, I’m not gonna play golf with you anymore. Plus, I’m gonna invite my homies to my crib every weekend to diss on you and yo skanky friends and yo totally wack social & economic development initiatives. How you like dem apples?
Thakin: Well, I’m not coming to your birthday party. Face!
Sanoh’s buds: Bastard!!!!!
Sanoh: Yo! Let’s all calm down, dawgs! We are like a couple who share the same bed. We may quarrel sometimes, but we can always make up. [He said this too]
Thaksin: Ohh, bring poppa some o’ dat sweet power-broking, king-making lovin’!