I had the pleasure/misfortune of visiting a night club called Hollywood over the new years break.

Upon first glance of the place from outside, I instantly thought of Las Vegas Casinos (although I’ve never been there, but I’ve seen films of it and that’s just as good). While it definitely isn’t as garish or flashy as something you would find in Las Vegas, it was definitely over-the-top for the surroundings.

Inside was no better, with a big stage full of dancers and musicians, blaring music that is surely over the tolerance of the human ear, lights that would cause the most staunch of us to leap into an epileptic fit and more than enough people to make it difficult to move.

Most of the musical performances they had were so-so, but there was one that was an excellent version of a Thai song that both Oui and I now want a copy of. I can’t even describe it (because it was all in Thai) but it was cool.

Going to the bathroom was a fun experience. I don’t go to many ‘straight’ night clubs so I had forgotten about the people who hang about in the bathrooms waiting to give you a massage while you urinate (is anyone able to urinate while getting a massage? I certainly can’t!), then they want to help you wash your hands and dry them. I swear, the way they treat you is as if you are incapable of doing it yourself!

The misfortune part of all of this, as I mentioned in the beginning, was that one of the people who had come along was a policeman from Sisaket who had never been to Pattaya and definitely never been to a place anything like Hollywood in Pattaya.

You would expect that a policeman would control himself, but no. This one got so drunk he was incoherent (he was still drunk the next morning), he kept filling our glasses and trying to force us to drink, putting big chunks of ice into our drinks causing them to overflow onto the table and at one stage, unzipped the jacket I was wearing (I had nothing on underneath it).

At first he was amusing, then irritating, then he was pissing everyone off and I wanted to hit him (but I’m too big a girl to take want to be do). Of course, everyone else had the Thai ‘main bpen rai’ going on, because they were all Thai obviously.

We left shortly after and dropped drunken-policeman and his wife/girlfriend (I have no idea which it was), back at the apartment, and then went back out to play some pool at a nice bar called… something Riders (the word something being a word I can’t remember. I think it was a biker bar, but anyway, we met the owner who was drunk but not drunk like Mr Sisaket Policeman was, he was a pleasant drunk and I remember thinking “Why couldn’t drunken Sisaket Policeman be like this?”.

We played some pool and Oui was on my team against his sister and her friend. Previously, I had beaten every one of them individually so I blame Oui for his pathetic skills at pool in causing us to lose.

Overall, I still had a good night though.