If you’ve read Paul’s post about the Thai governments plan to drop over 60 million paper cranes, all folded by thoughtful Thai citizens who really do want to help with the problems in the south, you probably think you’ve heard it all.

I’m here to tell you, right now, that you haven’t heard ANYTHING yet.

As I was preparing to leave the office this afternoon my colleagues were discussing that the big paper crane drop (this makes me think of that film where they dropped an elephant by air) is to occur this long weekend and I asked who would be cleaning it all up. This is where the new information was revealed.

Apparently, the cranes can be used to trade for food. This means that the more you have, the more food you can get. The first thing that came into my head after hearing this was a picture of absolute chaos. What I fail to comprehend is, if the real purpose is to give food to the south, why the paper cranes? Or is the food motivation to get them to clean it up? I’ve also heard that one of the paper cranes will give the lucky person who finds it, a paid education courtesy of Thaksin himself (surely he can afford to help more than one person).

When I first heard about this, I recall thinking that it must be a joke or that it would never actually happen, yet here we are. It really makes me wonder how they came up with this idea. Maybe they had a brainstorming session. You know, the kind where any idea can be tabled and nothing is too stupid. Here’s how I think the conversation went:

Thaksin: This whole thing in the south is getting out of hand. We need a plan. Any ideas?
General #1: We should send the army in and kill them all!!!
Thaksin: Don’t be absurd! What makes you think it will work this time?
Kiss-ass #5: Can’t you military types think of anything that doesn’t involve killing people?
General #6: That’s what we’re here for!
General #4: What would you suggest? Dropping flower petals on them? Get real man! We’re at war!!!
Guy Thaksin hates #6: What if we listen to them and try to fix things?
[silence]
Thaksin: Did you hear something?
Kiss-ass #75: Um… [looks around for help] no sir?
Thaksin: Anyway, what about that flower petal dropping thing?
Kiss-ass #3: But sir, flowers are so expensive…
Thaksin: Good point, is there a cheaper alternative?
Kiss-ass #14: What if we drop some of our waste on them?
Thaksin: [yelling at the other end of the table] WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DOING?
[a slight pause for his voice to reach the other end of the table]
Kiss-ass #2335: [cowering in fear] I’m umm… fold-d-ding a p-p-p-paper aerop-p-p-p-plane…
Kiss-ass #2: Did he say he’s folding a paper crane?
Thaksin: Great idea! General, I’ll let you organise the logistics side of it and I’ll take credit for the rest. Meeting adjourned.

The above events never occured – maybe.